Spring, Week 11 - Gifts

To hear the narration and listen to how the episode was put together, check out this video:

*****

 There's a period of time that occurs between deep sleep and full awakeness that's a transition between the two. It's like your mind (or maybe it's just me!) starts the process of placing itself into reality. At first, the things like the most basic sensations start to come in - the quality of the light forcing its way through closed eyelids, the texture of sheets and bedclothes, temperatures... those kinds of things, and by degrees it works its way to thinking about the events of the day prior and what's on the agenda for the current day.

That's normally what happens.

Today, the process got short-circuited. One reason was that someone was lying next to me. And where I was lying wasn't my cottage bed. As I was beginning to remember why all this was different, I felt a weight start at my feet and tread its way onto my stomach. 

"Is this a bad time to let you know that it's mid-morning?"

MouseEye. Oh what would I do without MouseEye? For one, sleep some more.

"Did you tell her about the box and note?" That mournful voice could only be Marvin.

"Hadn't gotten there yet. These things need to be done delicately so as to not overwhelm sleeping humans."

Bess groaned. I opened my eyes. And groaned.

"I think we've achieved sufficient wakefulness. There's a delivery on the mantlepiece."

"Did you tell them about the cookies?"

"That topic of negotiation hasn't yet been broached. There is a fair number of cookies included with the package. I believe an equitable distribution should include a finder's fee."

"And a mentioning fee."

"Agreed. Also a mentioning fee."

I glanced over at Bess who was looking at me. "Do you normally get woken by MouseEye?"

"Not usually. But he does have a cookie addiction so that may be playing into today's greetings. How about you and Marvin?"

"This is a first. Clearly, MouseEye is a bad influence."

Her groggy smile was adorable. 

"And Marvin isn't a bad influence?". I smiled back. 

"What - Marvin? He's a bundle of good-natured sunshine. And not mouse-level mischievous."

"I can hear you, you know." Can Marvin sound even more aggrieved? Yes. Yes he can.

"I guess I should give you some space to get around. After all, unwatched cookies can disappear."

"So can watched ones!", I yelled as MouseEye disappeared. 

I'd half-risen from bed as I called out, but dropped back down onto the pillows. Bess was lying there, like she'd been waiting. 

"Hi."

"Hi."

The silence that followed was full of promise. Which I, for some reason, tried to break. "How'd you sleep?"

"Not sure. I just did. So if you need instructions..." She giggled. "Oh, but I will include in those instructions, when I finally write them all down, how to sleep through cold feet looking for warmth from their partner."

"Oh you will, will you? I'll co-author the section on having an elbow in the small of your back."

The laughter we shared diffused things, to some degree, but deepened something else. Something... I didn't quite understand. Bess looked... beautiful. Willing. Hopeful, even.

She reached over and moved a strand of my hair from off my face. Her hand lingered on the side of my head. "I hope it's ok for me to say that I care for you. And that it was nice to sleep next to you."

Is it weird for your insides to feel like butterflies are flapping around? And to find it hard to breathe? And your mind to dribble out your ears and leave you feeling like a complete idiot?

Bess just smiled at me, then kissed my cheek, as she murmured, "You are adorable."

The she kissed me on my forehead. "You're wonderful."

The she kissed the tip of my nose. "You're sensational."

Then she...

"Those cookies, I believe, are cannibals. If they aren't unpacked soon, there'll only be survivors left." I barely paid attention to MouseEye's antics. 

... kissed me on the lips. 

It was Bess who broke the spell. "Apparently we're needed in the cottage. Shall we?" She got up, then lingered by the door.

"I'll be just a minute. See you inside?"

Her eyes twinkled. "Take your time. I'll keep the cookies safe."

It took me a second to remember that this whole thing has started around Pip's baking. Belatedly, I yelled out, "Don't fool yourself! Cookies near MouseEye are never safe!"

My head was so full but I couldn't get a handle on any single thought. They swirled around, evading attempts to make sense of them. I was lost. I just stood in the sleeping space, unable to figure out what I should do. Everything I felt, every thought I tried to think - it was all too much. I just...

"May I offer you a cookie rescued from the greedy clutches of donkey and mouse?"

She stood in the doorway. Glowing, I think. I... I couldn't see anything. Except for this goddess. She started to step towards me but I put up a halting hand. Her face fell, I think, but I couldn't have her approach me again. She started to leave. 

"Please. Just stay right there. Please." 

And she did, uncertainty working across her being. "I'm sorry if I..."

My hand went up again. She stopped talking. I focused, found a full breath, gathered what thoughts I could wrangle together, threw caution to the wind and started speaking. "I can't tell you what I'm thinking because, right now, thinking is too hard. The only thing I know, without a doubt, is that ever since you knocked on my door, I haven't been happy, truly happy, unless you're near.

"But at the same time, you've approached me, held me, been with me. Kissed me. I need to know if I can do the same for you, with you. Do you see?"

With tears on her cheeks, she stood facing me, and opened her arms, wide, waiting. The smile, the... love? I couldn't resist. Two steps towards her and I hugged her tight, not wanting to let go. I felt her hold me just as fiercely. And time paused.

We kissed, we cried, we clung.

At some point, some semblance of thought started to return. "This may not be the best time to ask, but what happened to the cookies you had in your hands?"

She started to shake from stifled laughter. "I... ah... it was a choice of holding onto cookies or holding onto you, so I..."

"Ate them?"

"No! Silly! But don't step back or you'll have a hell of a mess on your hands. Feet. Some part of you. And given that my hands were already covered in cookie grease..."

"My blouse bought it?"

"I'm sure, with a bit of washing, it'll only be slightly stained."

"Seriously?"

"Nah. Your clothes are fine. But I was serious about not stepping back."

We untwined. I recovered the dropped, chocolate-laden, circular baked good. "Breakfast?"

"More like lunch!" I'd offered her a cookie in one hand, but her head snapped forward and bit off a piece of mine!

It took some time for us to eat two cookies, between the laughter, the pseudo-offering of a cookie, the simple act of playing with our food. It was silly but so fun!

"Did you tell her about the wand?" Marvin's voice rolled through like a cold, deep shadow. Bess' laugh dispelled it. "Oh yeah - it looks like someone sent you a once-in-a-lifetime care package."

I looked at her, stroked her cheek, and before I kissed her, said, "I'm sure whatever is in there is safer than the cookies. It can wait." Her lips, my universe. Her body, my anchor.

Some time later, arm in arm, we stepped into the cottage. There was something different about the interior. Was it... brighter? Or... vibrating? Or... it was like the spirit of the cottage was more apparent. Not in a 'Oh - hey! She's standing in the room' sort of way, but something undefinable had appeared. Manifested. Whatever.

MouseEye and Marvin were both waiting for us. As were a few items sitting on the mantelpiece. I was so... overwhelmed, I guess. Tears started flowing from the feeling that things just couldn't get better.

Oh how wrong I was!

The easy part to distribute was the bag filled with cookies. Which had been opened already - maybe by Bess, maybe by one of our familiars (it's easier to think of Marvin as a familiar than try to figure out a distinction between him and MouseEye and then label it). And there was a state of having been rummaged through. I asked Bess to hand out the remaining cookies, if there were any.

Honestly, I wasn't really paying attention because I'd just read the accompanying note from Pip which said she'd made me a wand.

"Sweet, sweetie, there's a lovely satchel up here. Did you want me to open it?"

Without thinking, I just nodded. I might have said something too. Honestly, I just don't remember. A wand! That was my only thought.

And then I came back to myself. This was something that, if I chose to, could be a special time of sharing. I'm so glad I decided to stop and include a friend... no... a... special friend?... no... a... I have no words for who she is to me. 

"Bess? I've got something I want to share."

"I do too. Have you tried the chocolate I handed you?"

In my hand was, not a forgotten, but more of an unnoticed, chocolate. It looked good so I jammed it in my mouth. "Oh my goth! It'th tho good!"

"I know, right? Ok - tell me you have something that compares. Go on. Tell me!" Laughter and crossed arms - it got me laughing too.

"Well, it isn't edible, so it's bound to disappoint the food-focused among us. But my friend Pip, she's in the Here Yet Not Here, remember? Yeah? Ok, good. So she's started making wands. Guess who got herself a brand new wand?"

Bess took a step back, then recovered. "You know, that sounds impressive, especially if it's anything like your broom. Hey! Did she make your broom?"

"No. I bought Vapour Trail in town. Bob got it at an estate sale. No - this... I have no idea what all it can do. Aside from enable the gathering of a few types of reagents that are more... insubstantial. Anyway, I thought you might want to be a part of trying her out."

Her eyebrows shot up. "Seriously?"

"Unless you don't want to. I totally understand if..."

Bess held up a halting hand. "I have no idea of what, if anything, I can do to help. But I'd love to be a part of whatever it means to be a helper."

We both stepped up to the mantlepiece. The want itself just lay there, inert. I had no idea what the possibilities were, but I was so excited to find out.

"Sweetie, and I hope you don't mind if I call you that, but why is that Star Shard glowing?"

A glowing Star Shard? I looked over and, sure enough, it was glowing a gentle pink. Maybe it was blushing? Maybe it was... wait... Star Shards glow in the presence of your True Love. I... ? Well... yeah. "It means I'm with my true love."

"How does it know?"

"Don't know. And it was only a rumour that it does this. I guess it's a confirmed rumour now."

"This is... it feels like destiny, you know? There's all sorts of stories about love at first sight. I never really gave them credence. Until now. So... ok. The Star Shard knows how we're feeling. But what I'm really curious about is what you are going to be able to do with that wand."

"You're more interested in the possibilities of the wand and less on you and I being True Loves?"

"I've known, pretty much from when I watched you, covered in soot, floating down from the roof, that you were someone special. And, since then, every second of every day has deepened my feelings for you. That star shard isn't telling me anything I didn't already know, or at least strongly suspected. But that wand and how you are transfixed by it - yes, I am more interested in seeing what you can do over confirmation of what I feel."

Fair enough! And I have to admit, I feel the same way on all counts!

So... to the wand. According to Pip's note, her name is Sarah. Ok - time to spend some quality time with Sarah. Oh yeah - she's, at the core, a combination of the reagents Songberries, Coffee Cap, Moon Lotus, and Star Shard. So what might that mean?

Songberries are sweet and wonderful for mood. They also tend to attract drunk faire folk. 

Coffee Caps are also sweet, packed with energy, and are a remedy for the senses.

Moon Lotuses open at night - it protects its fragile self from sunbeams. It's fabulous for conditions involving burns, the sensation hot, skin issues, and rashes.

And, of course, the Star Shard, which glows when around your true love, can grant wishes, and works a treat on magic and curse issues.

Pip said Sarah turned lavender when she was made. She's definitely glowing that colour now!

Bess and I, with Sarah in hand, settled under a tree. "Kiss me for good luck?, I said.

A few minutes later, I was able to focus again. As Bess watched, I held the wand and focused. The weight, the texture, the feeling in my hand, the glow, her name...

I found myself opening my eyes. I didn't recall closing them - maybe something happened while I blinked? But my eyes opening was slower than normal. More dramatic, I think you could say.

I was in a witch's cottage. Not mine, but with enough similarity to mine that it was clearly occupied by a witch. Standing in the middle of the floor was a glowing figure. A lavender-glowing figure. This must be the spirit of Sarah.

"Hello. My name is Mistress Sweetwater. Is your name Sarah?"

The figure smiled. "The memories held within the wood are called Sarah. I am the power and spirit of the wand... collective, I suppose it could be termed. I am the sum of the parts, including that of Sarah. Sarah is immutable. I, however, can change. Call me what you will, for names also change."

"Then... should I call you by another name?"

"Think of me and you've called. If, however, you'd like a name to use, Sarah is as good as any."

"Than Sarah it is."

The figure nodded in acknowledgement. 

"So... I know you can help collect certain magical reagents."

Another nod.

"What else can you do?"

A pause, then, "You are a child of wood. Do you not feel the connection between you and I? Are our combined abilities hidden from your view?"

I wasn't sure what Sarah was getting at. So I said so.

"Then allow me to do this first service for you. First, close your eyes. Then feel your feet. Notice how they feel on the floor of the cottage. Wiggle your toes. Now feel, then extend, elongate, stretch out, reach down, burrow through the floor and into the earth. Raise up your arms. Feel your fingers rise into the air, through the cottage roof. Bathe in the life-giving sun. Leaves sprout from your limbs while you toes drink water and touch root systems full of knowledge, willing sharers of messages and information. Protect yourself within a layer of bark while vital fluids course up and down your body. Feel yourself as part of the natural order - both individually and collectively."

I opened my eyes to see that the cottage was no longer present. Instead, I was a lone tree on top of a hill. Which was great, for what felt like... I don't really know, now. But it felt like a long time. And then I started to panic. I felt trapped, caged, a prisoner...

"Breathe freely. You are safe. When you are ready, step out and see yourself."

At first it made no sense. Then it felt like escaping quicksand. And then... I stepped out from a tree. The tree. That I'd been in. Looking around, I spotted the glowing lavender figure standing off to one side.

"What did you do to me?", I demanded as I strode towards her.

"Tell me - what can we do together?"

I... still wasn't sure. Or, at least, I couldn't put it into words. But I could feel all sorts of things that were possible.

"Never forget that you are more than what your reflection tells you. You can focus here and access more than what you've dreamed possible."

I found myself opening my eyes. Once again I had no memory of deliberately closing them, and again there must've been a transformation during a blink. I was sitting outside next to Bess under a shade tree, holding the wand. And absolutely needing a hug.

"You ok?" Bess' voice, full of concern, was so soothing. All I could do was nod.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I nodded again but still held her. "I do, but I don't have the words yet. I promise to share when I can."

She stroked my hair, rocked me, comforted me. I felt safe. We stayed like that for a while, until she kissed me on the head. "I think someone's coming down the path."

I loosened my grip on her, got another couple of kisses, then Bess and I headed back to the cottage to greet whoever it was that was coming and deal with the problem they were invariably carrying.

I wasn't disappointed. Which, to be honest, was a little disappointing!